I express my love for the Bee Gees today at Feel Good Hits of the Summer.

I’m just pimping out my new music tumblr again.

Can you be your own pimp?

If your article on the health care bill has “ObamaCare” in the title, talks about how he wants to “take over our bodies”, uses Sarah Palin and her death panels as a point of contention, and every link you provide to justify/prove your points leads to a right wing blog, Fox News or Newsmax, your article may be pointless.

I wrote this one in 2003 and I’ve reposted on various blogs since then but no one ever really gets it and I thought at least maybe worldwarmike would appreciate it.

This one is a Very Special Thanksgiving episode of Action Figures Alive.

[also, the links look like links but they are not really links. i just don’t feel like fixing the formatting]

Spiderman: I still don’t see why we all have to have Thanksgiving together. Superheroes, villians, goth people – it’s a recipe for disaster!
Batman: Ha! Remember last year? Mark McGwire’s head popped off in that free-for-all.
Boba Fett: Yea, the free-for-all that you started!
Skeletor: Shut up, Fett. You were the one that made us play drinking games. It’s your fault.
Madman: Now, now, lets not rehash last year. I say we start this year off with something nice. How about we all go around the table and say what we are thankful for?
Evil Ash: Oh, geez. We all gonna hold hands and bow our heads in prayer, too?
Buddy Christ: You got a problem with that, bad ass?
Evil Ash: Sorry, Jesus.
Madman: Ok, Spawn, why don’t you start?

Spawn stands up, glass of whiskey in his hand.

Spawn: I’m thankful for that outfit Asuka is wearing today. Hubba Hubba!
He-Man: Hey! You can’t talk about my girlfriend like that!
Spawn (laughing maniacally): Your girlfriend? I’ve been sleeping with her for three weeks!
He-Man: Liar!
Asuka: Umm….
He-Man: NOOOOOO! Say it isn’t true!!
Asuka: Ummm….
Spawn: Told ya!

He-Man runs from the room crying

Spiderman: Oh, for Christ’s sake!
Buddy Christ: Hey, I had nothing to do with this, man.
Madman: Well, let’s wait on dinner a bit until we all calm down. Let’s watch some football.

They all gather in the living room to watch the game. Fifteen minutes later, there’s a crashing sound. He-Man comes swinging through the window on a rope, his feet aimed for Spawn’s head. He swings down on top of Spawn. They tumble to the ground and when Spawn stands up, his cape is ripped in half.

Spawn: You son of a bitch! You mother fucking asshole! You are dead! Do you hear me? DEAD!
He-Man: Yea, I’m shaking in my boots, you girlfriend stealer!
Spawn: My fucking cape. I can’t believe it. You’ll pay for this you asshole!

Spawn runs from the room, still yelling obscenities.

Skeletor: Well, another fine Thanksgiving this is turning into.
Death: I think it’s rather amusing.
Sandman: You would.
Boba Fett: Is that food ready yet? I’m starving.
Madman: The turkey should be just about cooked. Let’s go back into the dining room.

Everyone moves towards the dining area while He-Man lingers, looking around.

Evil Ash: What’s the matter He-Man, looking for your balls?
He-Man: Shut up, you freak. Hey, has anyone seen Battlecat?
Green Goblin: I think I saw him fucking your girlfriend. HAHAHAH!

They meet the others in the dining area.

Madman: Tada! I present to you the most amazing Thanksgiving meal ever!

Several Street Fighter guys bring in plates heaped with food and set them on the table.

Madman: Edward Scissorhands, would you do the honors, please?
Edward (mumbling): Every year, it’s Edward cut the turkey, Edward cut the pies.
Spiderman: That is the hugest turkey I have ever seen. I can’t wait to dig in.
He-Man: Where the hell is Battlecat?
Spawn: Really. He was just dying to dig into his plate.

Edward finishes slicing the meat and everyone clamors for the different plates. They dig in right away, eating hungrily and noisily.

Spawn: Hold up! I would like to make a toast before we all stuff ourselves full of this food.

He stands and raises his glass of whiskey, Asuka at his side.

Han Solo: I have a bad feeling about this…
Spawn: I thought I would not be able to eat this meal, I was so despondent over He-Man ripping my cape. But there are ways to get over things. A little action from Asuka here didn’t hurt….
He-Man (his mouth full of food): You bastards! Do you have to announce it?
Spawn: You know, He-Man, they say revenge is a dish best served cold, but I would much rather serve it hot.
He-Man: What the hell does that mean?
Spawn (mimicking He-Man): Has anyone seen Battlecat?

He-Man and everyone else stop chewing, stop talking and look up at Spawn, forks in midair. Spawn cackles.

Spawn: Enjoying the meat, He-Man?
He-Man (staring down at his plate in horror) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Chaos ensues. Everyone is either puking or running out of the room. He-Man faints. And Boba Fett calmly sits and passes himself some more meat.

Buddy Christ: Another Thanksgiving shot to hell.

I was bitching today about how hard it is to write on the couch because I can’t get comfortable with the laptop, but I don’t want to go isolate myself in the office.

He went into the garage, found an old, round coffee table and cut it down and fixed it up and turned it into a little table that fits over my lap and has an extra thing on the side for my mouse and a cup of coffee.

^{Sure, maybe he was just trying to stop me from bitching, but I prefer to think he did it because he loves me.}