Just woke up from a dream in which my dog’s head fell off - she wasn’t decapitated or anything, her head just fell off - a dream which also included a lost penguin who was dressed in a baseball cap and t-shirt, a lady who was using a step ladder as a walker and punctured her foot with the bottom of the ladder, getting lost in the parking lot of my old school and coming across a lady who was explaining to her children how parking tickets can accumulate so much that they might throw you in jail for it and she hoped that one of them knew how to cook dinner, the mascot looking penguin showing up again, but flying and eating leaves out of a tree, a scene where some creepy guy was stalking a girl in my workplace, demanding he have the name and number of her boyfriend in case the boy ever hurt her, he could come to her rescue, a lady at work who was being awarded a plaque for the way she handed out office supplies, this huge organ (like something out of Phantom of the Opera, but with stained glass that lit up every time a note was played) being moved out of my office and we all had to kneel down and genuflect at it as the worker guys moved it out, the step ladder lady showing up in fuzzy slippers that were exact replicas of my dog (with head attached) and the mascot penguin again, when I removed its baseball cap because it couldn’t see and its eyes were these beady little red devil kind of eyes so I screamed and two teenage girls came over to see what was going on and started talking about how all the animals were going crazy and killing each other and I was like “Yea? Well some lady is making slippers out of my dog, so you better watch your asses, ok?” and then the parking lot got flooded (don’t know how, it wasn’t raining) and I said “Oh god I will never find my car again and I have to get those slippers from that lady” but I was starving and there was a Five Guys in the parking lot so I went in there and sat down at a table with a big, fat Texan wearing a ten gallon hat and sheriff’s star badge and a young man who was trying to get a basketball scholarship and I brokered a deal between them before the fries were even ready.

Then I woke up and made sure my dog still had a head.

She does.